24th January

Once upon a time, there was this girl. She had long blonde hair, and big blue eyes. She lived a happy life with her father, her mother and her two baby-brothers. When she was 7 she started school, and everything was going well for the little girl. She liked her school, her class and her teacher.

One day when the little girl had grown up and went to school, she was no more happy, she didn't like her teachers and her classmates anymore. Every day she came home with a new wound in her soul and her mother or father didn't notice. Every day during the winter, she came home, wet and cold after being tossed and pushed down the small sledge hill where the younger children were sledge riding during the winter. Her teachers just watched and assumed they were doing some funny game, her brothers just laughed and then the girl realised that in her family blood will never be thicker than water.

In the spring the girl was pushed around, yelled at, laughed at and she had no friends, even they turned against her. This was her life, every day for 9 years the girls got one more wound in her soul until it broke completely. She now feels empty and soul less and have trouble ever feeling really happy.

She smiles when she's supposed to, she laughs at the right moment, she tell stories, she's in love again, she's got new friends...

But deep, deep, deep inside, she can't feel a thing. It's like this big empty hole sucking the life from her. Somedays she don't even know how to get out of bed, she has no energy to make herself a meal, to go to school. All she does is cries until she leaves and another day of new fights for her starts...

18th January

Still feeling ill!

17th January

Done nothing...

16th January

Today has seriously been a Photoshopping day! Went to the gym and realised I need to fix the Aikido-poster so I did that, then I got stuck editing pictures I have taken, mostly yesterday.

God, how I miss the picture editing. Later I will have to start doing some math, and maybe some biology, but now I'm just enjoying me and PSCS3!

I will try and see what different things I can do with the settings of the camera tomorrow though! That will be kinda cool too. First weekend in ages I don't have so much to do that I have been sitting with the nose in my books. I once heard that if you were a greath photograph you don't need photoshop to enchanse the pictures, but I see it as a tool to create shadows and stuff that isn't there and never will be there or maybe colors that makes it looks better. I don't change m picture more than that.. I think that if you're a great photographer you can take awesome pictures but you still know that you can't always do anthing with just the camera. For me the photo and the editing go hand in hand. I just don't edit all pictures. It all depends on what sort of picture it is supposed to be.

I might actually even take the time to finnish m childrens book soon. God, I just start with too many things! Still looking for work too! Gawd!

Oh, and by the way. In just a bit more pictures I have done toda will be up at http://sanna-b.deviantart.com
Check it out if you like too :) I would be very happy if ou did! :)



I think I will start and study on how to read minds. Somedays I just wonder what goes trough peoples heads...

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15th January

Missing you.... *broken hearted*

14th January

I wish I could read minds sometimes....

13th January

Woho! I'm better from my cold now! Even good enough to go to Aikido! Wahey! ;D

Well, we'll see how I feel tomorrow morning! lol
Got school at 10.30, gonna do some extra math *yeah man* and then the gym for a 30 min walk (just to cold outside to do that!) and then off to Sunne and more aikido!


Right, bed in a minute, but first, hair drying and then.. Well I'll just read a chapter or so in this book I got at the library today! But it's 11.30 om now so I won't be up to long!
The book I'm reading at the moment is "Mörkrädd" by Andreas Roman, and I think it will be kinda good actually!

Listening to: Unknown artist - King Cry Baby


Gonna try and check trough the pictures I got for the poster to and see if they got any good, and see which ones I can add on the home page, but I will take some more pictures on monday first when there is actually some people there!

Listening to: The Baseballs - Don't Cha

Well, I'll better be off to bed and do some reading now!

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12th January

Sick

11th January

Woho!
Got a lot of praise for the first childrens class in aikido this term! That was awesome to hear! I really hope we can do it the same way next monday as we did today! I really enjoy keeping them occupied and actually do something! I'm so proud of them today!

Well, been starting to think of what to write in my essay and have been brain storming a bit. I have decided though to keep it to only two books. Coraline and something made by H.P Lovecraft, probably "The Call of Cuthulhu".
As I see it though the essay will be hard to write when you don't generalize modern and classical horror, but has to be specific about the books. Well, I'll add some of the though I been having about it and see what it come to, the teacher apparently don't like me anyway.

Oh, I wish we could get the grades from the animation class soon! And the Sci-Fi & Fantasy I class! So that you can be sure you will get into the Sci-Fi & Fantasy II!

Well there has only been 1 + 1 work day and a weekend since they had to be in so... But they could hurry anyway!

Also, I wish it could stop being so very cold so that you can go outside and take some pictures!! I might do tomorrow anyway after going to school, but then I will have to dress up well as it is FREEZING still!
But there will probably be a lot of pretty pictures taken in this wheater!

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10th January

Well, back to the diary form of the blog for a while, till I found something else I have to write an essay on!
Bakc to high school tomorrow then I guess, Bio and Math here I come!

Least I can be happy as I can see my hair has grown a bit, and I am actually looking blonde! Spooky! But we'll see how long it takes till I'm dying it dark brown or black again! haha!
I'm not surprised if it becomes very soon!
But I will feel a bit stupid cutting it off if I do too soon!

And finally! A pair of trashy jeans that I can breat wearing! I either have to lose lots of weight or do something else to get into the other pair if I am ever gonna use them again! haha!

And.. Posing pictures! lmao!

Well, I do have to try out the new camre dont I?
Haha! :)
Tomorrow I will try and get a few minutes to go outside (if it isn't to cold) and take some outdoors pictures! And possibly get some of the stuff I still havent moved up here from my nans!
But that will make it lots of pictures soon on deviantart.com possibly! If someones interested on checking them out (http://sanna-b.deviantart.com)

Trying to read "The Call of Cthulhu" by H.P Lovecraft, but it's not going to well as it is a very hard novel to read! And I think I have figured what novels I''ll be reading for the essay on comparing new and old horror and one is a Stephen King book on werewolves and then Coraline, as we have discussed wheter it's more horror or fantasy and, therefore there are a horror element in it! And then I got 3 more novels by H.P Lovecraft to read! I wanna die! Kill me again!

I'm a superstrong discoball who has to read non-fun novels! Could life suck more at the moment??

I mostly though wonder how on earth I will be able to get to sleep! I have been sleeping till 3pm like 3-4 days now and I need to be up at 7.30 tomorrow! How on earth will I succeed in doing that?
Well, I guess Ill go to bed with my biology book and try and see if I can get any sleep at all!

Wish me good luck!

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9th January

Waking up at 3pm (Y) haha!

So, well guessing I haven't dont that much today! Watched Arsenal - Everton 2-2 (1-1). Which was an awesome game really! And the snow was just... Pouring down!
Arsenal didn't play that very well, and had two INCREDIBLY lucky goals! And Denilson just collapsed on the pitch! Very scary! He just, fainted and got carried out!
Still no news on Arsenal.com on how he is either!!

And then, shower, coming outta the shower looking like fucking sparkle vampires!! I dont want to look like fucking Edward Cullen! It's bad enough I woke up one morning a few years ago looking like the guy in Tokio Hotel! That was almost worse! I don't like it very much! I wouldn't mind looking like a celeb.. As long as it's a girl! (Okay, none of those do actually look like guys so I shouldn't be too worried! lol)

Woho! Going home tomorrow again as I start high school on monday! :) And Uni on 22nd. But I will miss mum and dad a lot!

But I think my newly bought clothes (that I can't afford) will make up for it a bit.. After all, I got a 1029 kr skirt for only 250kr! And it looks really nice!
So I am really looking forward to going home too! And star going to the gym again and *gulp* starting to take kids trainings! Spooky! But I think it will be ok! Hopefully! And I might get my flash animation course! *yeah man*

So I might have to go and buy my train pass this month to anyway, darn! I don't really have the money to that because of me buying the clothes! I somehow feel real bad as it actually looked like I'd get some money left this month but no! Okay, I do have a savings account that I have 1000 kr on, but I was gonna pay my Hakama with that! But I maybe could wait till, like forever as I did with the gi!

Well, back to reading novels and listening to Mötley!!!

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8th January

Lots of films as I barelly even have the energy to get outta bed!

Started of the evening yesterday with Avatar. Nice surroundings and effects, really poor story.
Then I watched Män Som Hatar Kvinnor. Something doesn't make sense, and I don't know what, but otherwise I think it was good, and will get the other two films in the series. I finished of yesterday with Gran Torino and I am IMPRESSED!
The film was amazing! The story was well preformed, the actors performed well and it feelt realistic!

Today it's been Far Cry - Really poor film, the computer game is so much better... And then a bit of Adrian Edmonson! And last two Johan Falk films. Not as good as people say, but not very crap either... It feels like any other swedish cop film.

Gran Torino

Clint Eastwood is playing the retired Korea war veteran Walt Kowalski. The role as the bitter polish-american veteran is amazingly interpretated by Clint Eastwood who does it spot on! Nothing to remark. He ends up in trouble with his neighbours as the boy in the Mhong-gang is starting to argue in the house next door and when they decide that one of the young boys have to steal Mr Kowalski's car it don't turn out as they had though. There is a bit missing in the fact that being so bitter he don't keep strong but opens up the Mhong family. But you can live with that as the actors are very amazing and you can feel wrapped up in the war between the Mhong gang and the Mhong family and Mr Kowalski.
As the vet was never close to his own kids it seams, it feels like he has to make up to someone and starts to shape one of the Mhong kids to become a real man so he can stand up to the Mhong gang trying to recruit him.

An amazing story, seen before but well told, and the right actors makes Gran Torino one of the better films this past years.

.......

Johnny Depp got the award as this decades best actor (I'm mostly wondering if it's the decade thats been or the one that's just started! lol) and I am well happy with that! Not one bad decision on a role, and he seems to really enjoy being an actor as he puts down so much effort in it! And he seems capable on taking on whatever role he gets and that is just such an amazing ability, and I admire him very much for that!

.......

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7th January

Worst day.. Ever!

6th January

Finally!
The animation book takes up something realtive to what I'm trying to write about so that I can actually build my ideas on something solid! Thank God!

Finally something that works as it's supposed to be. Had a real good cry earlier as I for some odd reason miss someone, someone, and the only one I have actualyl hated. I don't anymore but I don't really like this person in particular either.
Also I realised a lot of stuff that will never happen and I just couldn't keep it in anymore!
Unfortunatley, it feels like I got no one to talk to about this!

Oh, how I wish I had a really close friend! But no, people just leave me as soon as things get rough! As usual. Just because people disagree don't mean that one of them have to block and stop speaking to the other. It's called having different opinions, and if people can't handle that, well tough luck getting trough life!

Woho! MacGyver-myths on Mythbusters! haha! It's so fun! Everything that I have been very sceptical too in the series is brought up! haha!
Well, Richard Dean Anderson is still an awesome actor!
But MacGyver is BUSTED!
And the easiest way to un-build a wall... C4!

Now I just want to go home! I have such anxiety fot this essay! And I realise now that when I'm not going down to Karlstad for a while I need to go to my biology and math lessons! So now I got to find the time table for that! I know when the biology is, but not so sure when math is.
Gosh! Well, least I only got till lates 15.00 to finish this essay, then it's DONE and I don't have to bother about it anymore!
Then I only have the litterature to worry about! But that's not to much work, I hope! And I got till January 15th to finnish it! And I have decided what subject to write on!

Now I just need to find some really good short horror novel and read! haha! But I need to the library on monday anyway so I will take this weekend to read the last novels that I have too and then I will google some horror storys and if I cant find any, ill just go to the library!

Oh dear, this will kill me!

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5th January

Well, trip to Torsby to leave some stuff and get my printer.. Not a lot done today!
Fuck! O well, Iäll probably be up all night reading and writing my essay!
But first in an hour or so... MacGyver ep 2! Haha!

But right now my ninja mission is to find a nice 50's looking dress! Prefaerably a red with black dots! Or possibly white dots. I think it would look nice anyway!
If anyone knows where to find affordable dresses and other 50's clothes, please tell me! Also some nice heavy metal clothes! I don't make any sense now I guess, but in my world.. You can mix rockabilly with Mötley Crüe!

God how I hate this theory book! Unless it was so expensive, I would have tossed it out the window as soon as I was done with it, and maybe it could come in handy a little later on in life to.

Listening to: The Baseballs - Umberella

I'm actually thinking of as soon as I finished of this essay to start animating. And I have had a great idea. If you buy this stuff to build surrounding for bard games like Warhammer you could probably build really nice stages for animation, like in Nightmare before Christmas. Or am I totally wrong now? Maybe it is to tiny to be able to work with (I'm not looking for use of the little pieces being orcs and stuff now, just the other stuff).

I have to check up on that, but now I just need a good idea to be animating something too! I have this idea looking a bit like Tim Burton's Vincent, but still... Not...
Or maybe I should do something... Hardrock?
I'll have to check up on that. And probably it's going to be a no sound animation. And I have to learn to use flash too! Darn. I got so much to do! Maybe I should be happy not to get anymore courses at the university this term anyway. I know I want to do the russian, but maybe that's better for the summer anyway.

Hmm, I might have to develop my essay further on the statment that digital animations contians so much more than hand drawn traditional animations. All I say is.. Well.. "YEAH DUH!" God how some people can be stupid sometimes!
Haha!

Right now I have 7 pages on the essay and 5 of them is the actual essay, and as it's supposed to be 6-10 pages, that means I'm sort of done! But I still got around 100 pages left to read of the book so I guess it will end up around 10 pages in the end anyway. Also the thing I have came the shortest with is the comparison with my animation and a professional one.
And that is really the hardest. To know what to write. I only have 1½ page there and I need a minimum of 3. So least I'm halfway there too.

No, now back to the writing and reading!

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4th January

I miss home so badly!
I really don't want to be here anymore, but I made a promise to stay until Monday so I'm keeping it!
Sat watching TV, which is weird as I never do that otherwise! Right now.. Cold Case.. And later.. First ever episode of McGyver with Richard Dean Anderson!

Least I've gotten somewhere on my animation essay, but it's going slowly, and if I have to go to Torsby just for the day tomorrow I will lose a whole day of writing! Which is not appreciated at the moment.

Other than that it's been a very uneventful day today!
I'm mostly sat just hoping the days go by fast so that my hair will grow so that I can get my Nikki Sixx hair cut and waiting for Aikido to start again on Monday 11th. Hopefully I will be doing the childrens class as I have loads of ideas on what to do!
Technically it is actually tuesday today (Woho!) but I think I need to pack up some stuff that needs to be brought back if we're going over to my flat tomorrow! For example some boxes, and some clothes, maybe even can get the last of the stuff from nan up to the flat to, that would be nice! And get the wooden panel down so that we can get it up and painted soon.

*Note to self: Remember to hire carpenters*

Thats means though that I have to go find my kitchentable too! Haha! I had almost forgot about that!
And also got to get down to Lasses Sport och Hälsokost and see if they got yeastpills! Or vitamin B.. Gosh. I thought I was gonna get some money left over this month! But hopefully I don't have to buy a that train ticket as I don't have to go away to mcuh this month. If it will be the same cost I will buy one anyway so that I can take extra trips down to Karlstad if I have to.

Na, I think it's better to actually go and read the theory now!

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3rd of January

Right now I'm sat listening to Mötley Crüe and writing this, but the reason I'm actually writing this is because of an incredible film!

"Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Cristmas" (Director; Jenry Selick; Touchstone Pictures; 1993)

The most amazing thing with this film I think is the fact it's a stop-motion film, made with dolls! Just imagine the work and effort put down in the film! I can't even imagine the work that's been done to produce this film. Just the fact that they had over 400 heads just for the Jack Skellington doll that contained all of his facial expressions and another 227 dolls to make all of the characters is just astonishing. Also I think it's fun that even though they had so many dolls Sally only had one but instead many facial expressions made as they tough it was to hard to make her hair everytime.

One thing I have a trouble with to decide wheter I like it or not is the fact it says "Tim Burton's" as he was actually barelly at the shooting location in San Fransisco at all as he was directing Batman and pre-producing his film Ed Wood at the same time.

The orginal poem though that he wrote for the film can be found at:
http://www.timburtoncollective.com/nmbcpoem.html

The reason I was even watching this film is that I'm going to analyze the film and compare my own animation that I made for my animation class to it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btJo7Nxzzvs

From the poem, which the film is based upon, the fragment

"All that night and trough the next day,
Jack wanderd and walked."
Tim Burton

is my main core for the comparison for the animations. As I see it the fragment of the poem is very similar to the main core of my animation as my shadow man (if the animation had been longer) would be walking around to find his right place.
(For those who don't know the poem/film Jack is tired of Halloween and don't want to do Halloween the next year as he is bored of it and thinks there are more to life).
Also the continuing part of the poem could easily be a good comparison to my animation, as Jack find Christmas town and the shadow man find a light and they both are exploring what it is they have found out of curiosity. In my animation the light gets turned of and the shadow feels like he didn't find the right place and don't fit in, as I think Jack feels like he don't fit in, in Christmas Town.

"He was filled with dismay.
Then deep in the forest, just before night,
Jack came upon an amazing sight.
Not twenty feet from the spot where he stood
Were three massive doorways carved in wood.
He stood before them, completely in awe,
His gaze transfixed by one special door.
Entranced and excited, with a slight sense of worry,
Jack opened the door to a white, windy flurry.

Jack didn't know it, but he'd fallen down
In the middle of a place called Christmas Town!
Immersed in the light, Jack was no longer haunted.
He had finally found the feeling he wanted.”

“Tim Burton”

The main reason though for me deciding to do the comaprison on this film is (except for the film being an amazing film) because my shadow man is very much based on Jack Skellington.

If I succeeded... Well that's up to you!

2nd January

Well, so far I've survied the second day of the new year too! Which I assume is always good ;)

I ahve actually came a bit on my animation essay, even though I had to start all over writing it.
But at least I got 2 pages of the first part of the assignment done, and quite well written too I think. Now the hard part is to be able to cocentrate enough to actually read the book, which at the moment is hard as they are showing Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe on Discovery!

Narration in a zoetrophe?
Well, yeah of course there is a narrative element! It's like saying there is no narrative element in a one square comic, and that could be a whole joke! Narrations means that you're telling something, and something are happening even if it's an endless loop on a zoetrophe!

Yeah well, if I just develop that a but more then I might actually pass the course. As said, it's gettin trough the book that is hard. Also I need to find a good stick figure or a animation where someone tries to find home to compare with my animation I made myself.

It annoys me though as I am reading a book filled with different articles/essays and 3 other articles and the authors of these has the fun habit of saying their opinons is fact instead and it bothers me. Although I think the article/essay on the Japanese artist/animator Tabaimo, who makes all her art and animation on the "pain" that she is the most ordinary of the ordinary -"futsuu no naka futssu". As I don't know much about Japanese art and customs, just what I assume and have been tild I think her different artworks seem very interesting. One I can remember now is that she made the period blood from a woman turn into the japanese flag.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQfsiamYdzg

I you want to know abit more about her. This is a video with Lena Essling at Moderna Museet telling us abit more about the Japanese girl.

(Haha, it feels a bit odd sitting here writing about an awesome artist as you're watching Mike Rowe performing an autopsy on a shark - and that sharks liver weighed 17.6 kilos, wow!)

I have some trouble with the authors of the essay of my books on the animation to wanting to make the animators and film makers special in saying they makes the films or the art close to what they grew up in or have gone through. That I think is common for everyone, artist, teacher, fire man, you do what you are used too and what you know. I once got the advise to when I was writing to never write about something happening in a country I had never been in or a situation I had never gone trough if I wanted the story to get the right feeling, and I think that is a very good advice, and that seems to be the same idea for those film makers.

Well, enough with the animation now, as I have the feeling a few more blog post will be about animation! ;p

... God how I miss my flat! I really want to go home soon again! But I want to finnish this essay and then have at least one or two more days so that I can go out snowboard before the winter is over, because unless I can get someone to come with me (which I doubt) to go to Branäs or Hovfjället or something I probably won't be going to mum and dads anymore during the spring.
O well, back to Mike Rowe

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1st January

Well, that's the first day of the new year thats over.
And I can't fucking sleep! Well, that's all my fault though, for sleeping until 12.30 this morning, and it could have been nice.. If it wasn't for the fact my media player is not working!
I will try and reboot the computer in a bit and see if i can get it to work because if I am going to stay up all night reading.. I wanna have a film on in the background!!!

Unfortunatley, I havent really gotten any further in the writting of my essay and it bugs me!!!
I really have to get going! Can't someone just give me a big kick in the bum and make sure I finish it by wednesday?
Well, I'll try and read atlest the next chapter, it's a kinda short one.

God!!! How quiet can a house be?? I don't even dare to put music on as I might wake my parents in the next room up and my dad is going to work early tomorrow! This just majorly sucks!

One thing that has botherd me while reading this animation theory is.. What has actually changed?
A lot more of the animation is digital today... BUT everything made by hand before is still made! Just that instead of a pen drawing a line you have a computer clickin where the line is going to be... It really hasn't changed at all has it?
I mean, you can compare the 3D animations to the clay animations. The clay figures you use your hands to put them in different positions while you move the character around with a click on the moise button on whatever animation program you're using! So what's the big new thing?
And another thing that has botherd me is the vauge specification the authors of the articles and books has on what animation really is! The whole books is just a big register on animators and very well formulated descriptions on what their films are about, now how they are made!!

Now I seriously want to get into the Flash animation course I found! Haha, and the russian!
And as soon as I get back to Torsby I will be starting to make a new animation in a green screen box! But I think I need to find a better video editing program than Movie Maker, so if someone has any good program to share, don't hesitate to tell me!
It will be interesting to try some of the different animations from the course that I didn't try, but would have liked to try out! Also, it's not to hard to actually make an easy animation table on your own, so I might actually make on pretty soon!

Well, I will try and get trough much of the crap thats written in the animation book tomorrow and see if there is anything that interests me, otherwise it seams like I have to spend half the work on trying to convince people that nothing has really changed but you just do it in another medium... And that will be hard, I need something more to convince people about it!

Least my cold are getting better, that just came at the worst possible time! I have had such head ache and been so tired that reading have been more of a nuissance than fun! Which is very odd for me!

Well, better get back to the reading now.. And don't forget to visit
http://sanna-b.deviantart.com

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