Jesus was the first vampire!

Well, after some really serious thinking. I have came up with this theory. (and this post will be up for changes during the time as I will try and evolve the ideas!)

Jesus Christ was the first vampire. The only reason the church introduced a lot of ways to kill vampires was just to cover it up.

Think of it..

Jesus told us to drink his blood and eat his flesh... What does vampire do? They drink blood! (Also, this is because vampires are snobbish zombies!).

Jesus died, but "lived again". Well, this makes him either a zombie, or a vampire, and as I have established the idea that Jesus is a vampire = a snobbish zombie... Well... You see where I'm going with this..?

Also he had 12 people following him. One theory is that they were sired by him, and therefore he was their master. Mostly because they were there when he shared is "blood and flesh", and that must mean they got infected.

The last point I will bring up is the fact Jesus lived again after "dying". If you look at some of the traditional ways to kill vampires, none of them were tried when Jesus was crucified and "killed". They did not use Garlic,  nor did they stake him or behead him.(as I see it, vampires are able to walk in the sun, if it's going to work with the idea of vampires being snobbish zombies).

So therefore... Jesus were the first vampire!