Seriously? What the fuck?

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqiyq3mFiH1qi8944o1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1315913817&Signature=cQH2R3AgfRZbkwKoUpZEz5cIdvY%3D

I. 

DO.

NOT.

WANT.

TO.

LIVE.

IN.

THIS.

WORLD.

ANYMORE!!!

Good question!

Edward Cullen, the little cheat!

Now we all know why he wants Bella away from Jacob... So that she won't be walking in on them!

Bild: http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/demotivational-posters-edward-cullen1.jpg

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 14

Edward came back every night to drink Bella's blood for the whole week. Bella became more distant for every day, still her senses were ultra sharp. She sometimes answered Jessica's questions before she had asked them, or way to fast, but in the same time, she easily wandered of, occupied by something else, often nothing in particular. It was Friday morning, and then the question came.
- So, were you going tomorrow?
- What?
-Yeah, you going to the dance, or to Phoenix?
- Phoenix?
- Yeah. You said you might go to Phoenix.
- Oh. Yeah. right.
- So you have no tickets booked?
- No.
Jessica looked a bit disappointed. I think this had been her opportunity to shine, and to be the star of the dance.
- I'm, um... Actually I am going to the dance. I got a date.
- You did? Who?
Jessica new all the "cool" kids in school already had a date.
- Edward Cullen.
Jessica's eyes almost popped out of her brain.
- What? Really? Since when?
- Oh, he asked me this weekend...
- But. You haven't spoken to him since. Except for in class.
Bella could see Edward smirk at his table.
- Oh, he don't need to. We talk plenty as it is.
- Oh, okay.
Jessica was muffled. Bella could see that, and that made it even more fun.

When school was over, Bella walked to her car. Even at a distance, she could hear Edward coming. She didn't turn. He stood behind her. Sniffing her hair.
- So, he said. When do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?
- Tomorrow?
- Yeah, the dance.
- Oh right. Um. When does it start?
- Seven.
- Six-thirty then?
- Sounds good. I'll come pick you up at six-thirty.
He walked of to his car and he drove away. Bella had to stand there for a few minutes before she could get he keys up.
When coming home, she did her homework, and then started to try out dresses for the dance. After having tried out a few she heard from the window, the only voice she longed to hear.
- I think the blue look great on you. It will fit into your new you.
- But my father?
- Oh, I made sure he is away all night, working.
- What did you do? Did you... kill someone?
He chuckled.
- No, not really. Just... a big mess. But he is stuck with paper work and phone calls all night.
- That's good.
- So. Do you want to start?
- Yes!
Edward picked her up and put her on the bed. He stroke her dark hair back, and looked into her eyes. She could see how much he wanted this, and he how much she. He pulled the strap of her dress down and started to kiss her neck. His hand were all over her body, and hers over his. When his teeth cut into her veins, she could feel the life get sucked out of her, but she could also feel something new brought back into her. Something strong.

When Edward were finished, Bella laid unconscious on the bed. He bit his own wrist with his sharp teeth, and made Bella drink his own blood.
- That's good my love. Just a bit more.
The life came back to Bella, and she felt even more alive than she had done when she were human.
She looked into the mirror.
He had been right.
The dark blue fabric looked amazing on her new pale skin. Her eyes, now dark red with blood thirst.
She looked more beautiful than she had ever done as a human.
She took the dress of and put her normal clothes back on. It was a little bit after midnight.
- You're hungry love. Let's go feast. But beware. When we camouflage us among humans, we only drink animal blood.
- What do you mean?
- I mean that in some places, we go for humans, and some, we go for myths, and some... For murderers. It depends on where we go. But we like Forks. And we are tired to be hunted. So for now love. Only animals.
- I will try.
- That's good love. That's good.
He picked her up again, and they ran off into the woods.

When Bella came home it was almost 6am, and she went back into her room. Now, in no need to sleep ever again, she sat reading till she could hear her dad come home. He tried to be quiet, thinking Bella was asleep.
The whole day, Bella walked around, trying to seem human to her dad. It was the last time she would see him. She knew that. She and Edward were going to take off, see the world, before settling down.
- How funny, she thought. Just like any ordinary couple.
Except, there were nothing ordinary with them at all.
- Dad, I'm off to the dance in a bit.
- Okay. Whom you going with.
- Edward Cullen. he's picking me up in 10.
- Oh. That's... Nice. But... isn't he to old?
- He's the same age as me dad! You have enough food to cope for the evening?
She could hear everything going on in the house. She could even hear her father put the remote down in the sofa.
She went downstairs.
- Oh, isn't you a beauty. But you look so pale Bells. You okay.
- Hey, what did you think? There is no sun here! Of course I'm... paler then I used to be!
- Can I take a picture? You know. For keeping?
- As long as you don't put it up anywhere I can see it!!!
He took a picture of her, and at the same time, Bella could hear Edwards car come closer.
- Oh, Edward's here!
Her dad looked out the window. The drive way was empty.
- No. Must have been something else.
Bella had forgotten that when living here, she was not allowed to hear cars still two blocks away. She sat in the hallway, waiting for him, and when she saw his Volvo drive up, she jumped out of her seat.
- Calm down Bells!
Edward knocked the door, and her father opened.
- Good evening chief Swan.
- Good evening Edward. Come on in. Bella is already finished.
Edward came in. Dressed in a black tux, looking even more lovely than he used to. Her dad took a few more photos. Almost as he already knew.
- So. Take care of my daughter tonight Edward. You will never find anyone like her.
Edward looked down on Bella.
- I will, chief Swan. I promise I will take care of her, for all eternity.
- Sounds good enough. Now you, go have fun.
They walked out the door. Edward stopped and swooped her up.
She kissed him softly.
- So off to see the world then?
- Off to see the world. But first. We have a dance to attend to...

THE END

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 13

When Bella woke up the next morning, she was surprised the sun were once again floating in trough the window. She took a quick look at the clock, and realized it was past noon.
- Oh, shit!
She ran downstairs, but the house were empty. She found a not on the fridge. Her dad had gone fishing early, and would probably be away all day.
- So much for father and daughter bonding activities, she said under her breath.
The phone rang and she jumped.
- Swan residence.
- Bella. You are not welcome in the reservoir any longer.
A click was heard.
It was Billy Black. And he had hung up on her. Bella didn't know whether she were the most furious about him hanging up, or disliking her so much.
She put the phone back on it's hook, and it rang again. Bella answered.
- Swan residence.
- Oh Bella hey! It's Jess. You startled me. I had barely dialed your number when you picked up.
- Sorry. I was just right to the phone.
- So, what did you do last night?
- Oh, nothing. Took an early night. What about you?
That was a disastrous question. I realized, buy the background sound in Jess phone, she was outside. Our phone were a boring stuck on the wall inside phone, and I wanted to go out in the sun and pretend I was in Phoenix on a spring day. It took Jessica at least one and a half hour to get trough with the night before.
The last question she asked bothered her.
- So Bella. Whom is taking you to the dance on Saturday?
- Huh?
- You know...
- Oh. Sorry. I don't know if I'm going. Might take a quickie home to my mother then and pick up some stuff. You know, take and extra day of school or something. So I haven't said yes to anyone yet.
- That's cool. Well, see you in school tomorrow.
- Yeah, bye.
Bella hung up and went for some cereals and prepared to go outside to sit and maybe get just a few rays of sun. The kitchen door was stuck. Bella got annoyed and pulled it a bit harder, and she almost pulled it off the hinges!
- Oh my god. I-I-I'm strong, but I never really realized I was THAT strong.
She sat down on a quilt on the grass and munched her favorite cereals. But they tasted weird.
- Maybe they are out of date.
She went inside. The box said they weren't out of date till June 2014.
- Ha! Proof! The world is not ending in 2012, Bella said to herself. Well, maybe it's the milk then?
She checked the milk to, but it was perfectly fine. Oh well. I just grab some eggs.
Bella gulped 4 or 5 eggs down. She was ravenous.
Then she went outside again and did some homework before the clouds so famous in Forks came back.
She decided the best thing to do was sending her mother a mail
She started the computer and started to type.

Dear Mother,
how Phonenix? Or have you moved to Florida already? How's Phil? Still pitching like a loser? ;)
Forks is... Okay. There are some cute boys here but the surroundings are too green! And too rainy. And to... Not Phoenix. I miss home, but I do kind of like it here. I have new friend. Her name's Jessica. And she has a boyfriend, he just don't know it yet, and his names Mike. He is also nice.
I have apparently pissed of Billy Black, but I don't know why. I have just decided he's old and senile and stupid. No harm. I just hope his son don't hate. He is nice. His name is Jacob. I really like him.
Umm...
I don't know what to say. Charlie says hi. Even though he is out fishing at the moment because the SUN is actually in Forks today.
Well,
Love you Mom.
/Bella xox


She pushed sent, and went back to her homework. She finished a few assignments so they were able to be handed in tomorrow. Some good, some... Less good. But trig had never really been Bella favorite subject. She was happy though that she had been able to sneak her old essay with her to Forks, that meant less work on some courses. When finished she threw herself on the bed, window open because now the sun were seen trough it and decided to read on of her favorite books. Sense and sensibility.

Bella woke from fairytale land quickly when she heard someone being on the way, and a knock in the window. When she looked up, she saw Edward sitting there, casually, one leg hanging inside.
- What do you want?
- Nothing. Just thought I'd drop by and see how you are. And ask if you want to go to the dance with me?
- Wa... Who... When... Me? Yo-u-u... Wait a minute! What?
- I asked if you wanted to go to the dance with me?
- Um... Okay. But, I'm not sure I'm going. I might take a flight home to Phoenix and grab some more stuff I need.
- That's okay.
He went over to the bed and laid down next to me.
- So, what are you reading.
I showed him the front page, and realized. I hadn't chosen the book because it was my favorite, but because the heroes name were Edward. Just like him.
He came closer and closer, and I could feel his breath again, but this time, I could also feel the coldness of his skin, as he took my arm again and he kissed it. All the way from the hand up to my ear and back down to the bend of my arm.
- Edward?
- Mhm.
- Why are you doing this?
He stopped for a second.
- Because you like it.
Bella couldn't disagree.
Again he bit her, and she could feel herself becoming faint. But he stopped, just before she passed out and he rolled her sleeve down again . She looked at him when he were on his way out.
- Who are you?
He looked at her.
She could see the torment in his eyes.
And then he left, and Bella fell asleep in the sun.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 12

Bella was afraid when she opened the door.

There he stood.

Beautiful. Tall.

Bella didn't know what to say.

- Can I come in?

- Uh... Sure.

She went out of the way.

-2 seconds.

She ran up to the bathroom, splashed some cold water in her face, and it was like some magic had been cleaned of her face. Now she could think straight again.

- What's he doing here? Why's he here? Why is that every time he's around I get all... I don't know. Weird.

Bella went downstairs again. Keeping at a safe distance.

- So he said. You're hanging with the Black boy.

Bella rememberd what had happened the other night and got angry.

- Yeah! You just ruined my chance of getting a new friend! And what's that to you anyway if Jacob and I are friends?

- Oh, nothing really. Just... He isn't good for you. He has some dark secrets.

- Like you haven't.

Edward flinched in his seat. Just as much as it was noticeable.

- Yeah. Billy Black spilled some info earlier.

Edward rose and took a few step closer to her. She could smell him all the way. No one could smell that much in that distance, and so nice. She could see every muscle in his body move when he rose from the chair.

Bella couldn't move.

He came closer, and Bella were just waiting for him to come to her.

He came.

He floated around her a few steps. Then he stood behind her. She could feel his breath on her neck.

- Do you feel like this when you're around Jacob?

- Maybe I could...?

Her brain were once again going in off-mode and her mind went blurry. She could feel his tongue down her neck.

He gripped her hand and stretched her arm out, ripping her shirt open till the elbow.

- May I? he asked.

Bella looked confused. But she couldn't say no. Just nod.

He put his hands deep into her veins.

She could feel her blood dissapering from he body.

She had no idea how long she had been standing there, but a light broke her from the trance. She could feel Edward pick her up and go upstairs with her. On the way she could see her dads car in the driveway. He had probably forgotten something.

Edward tucked her into bed, making it look like she were asleep, and she could, even though she were still dizzy, see him jump out of the window.

- Bella?

Her dad came up the stairs, and she did as best as she could to actually look like she were asleep. Otherwise her dad what had happened. And she couldn't do that.

- Be... Oh. Sorry, he whisperd and went back down stairs again and she could hear him drive off.

Bella fell into dreamless sleep just after. Whatever Edward had done had made her very tired.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington

Part 11

When Billy and Jacob had left, her dad coming home just to see them for a few minutes, Bella went to bed. This night she had terrible nightmares.

In her dream she saw Edward, just as beautiful as she could remember him. He was scouting the rocks at the edge of a deep cliff used for extreme diving of some sort, but she also saw Jacob, taller than she could remember.

- You leave Bella alone!

- Ha, like you scare me.

Edward laughed and Jacob flew on to him, the two of them falling of the cliff.

- Noooo!

Bella ran off to the edge, but looking over it, she could not see anything. She saw a splash.

Further down the river she saw something, bear like climbing up the shore, she realized that both Edward and Jacob were going with the current straight to that bear.

She saw something moving in the wood, not sure what, it went way to fast, and she were way to far away, but the bear ran after it. When Bella tried to stand up to run off to see where they went, the cliff crumbled under her weight, and she fell towards the dark water.

- Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Her dad came running trough the house, she could hear his heavy footsteps.

- What is it Bells? You okay? You in pain? You want me to call Dr Cullen?

When Bella head the name she shivered.

- No, it's okay. I just had a nightmare. Can you..?

- Sure honey.

Her dad sat on the side of the bed and stroked her hair.

- It's okay honey. We all have nightmares. I bet you're just processing the fact you have a new environment, new school, new friends, and that you miss you're mother. Have you spoken to her recently?

- Yeah, sure, and no. I will send her an e-mail tomorrow.

- That's good. I bet she misses you.

Bella drifted off to sleep again, as her dad left to go back to bed, and the rest of the night she slept uneasy, but dreamless.

When she woke up Saturday morning, she could see the sun, bright and clear at an almost empty sky. She couldn't believe it.

Again a sunny day.

When she came down to breakfast her dad wasn't there.

He'd put a not at the fridge reading: "Gone fishing".

Bella made herself breakfast and went to sit outside, doing her homework. When her dad came home she tried to gut the fish, but she had no idea how to, so her dad took over the work, and Bella answered the phone.

- God dammit, this phone she said under her breath. Why is it ringing all the time?

- Swan residence, Bella here.

- Hey Bella, it Billy. Billy Black.

- Hey. I go get dad for ya.

- Wait. I want to speak to you first.

- Um, okay... Sure. Hit me.

- Hit you?

- Ooh, it's just an expression, like, shoot. You know, start asking your questions.

- Oo...kay.

He sounded a bit, off.

- Billy?

- Oh, yeah. I heard from Jacob that you are hanging out with the Cullens?

- Well, no not really. I'm in the same class as one of them, that's it.

- Stay away from them Bella. They are dangerous.

- Um... Okay?

- Trust me Bella. Now, can I speak to Charlie please?

- Sure. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Billy's on the phone. He wants to speak to you.

Her dad came and took the phone while Bella snuck up to her room. After a while, she heard her dad getting dressed to go out.

- Bells, I'm going with Billy to the Clearwaters. A game is on, and Mrs Clearswater have promised to cook.

- Bye dad!

Her dad slammed the door, and again Bella were alone. Without any distractions.

- How could someone that gorgeous be dangerous? I mean, he doesn't really fit into the bad boy category.

A knock on the door getting Bella off track. She went downstairs. Opening doors late at night was not something she liked. Especially when there were no peephole.

- Who is it?

It was quiet for a moment.

- It's Edward.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 10

Bella didn't know how long she had been standing there. Minutes? Hours? Days?

She just couldn't believe it! She were so angry. How could he do that? And just leave? And it was Friday today so she couldn't even be mad at him in school tomorrow.

- Oh, fuck my life.

Bella went inside again and started the dinner. Microwave pizza. Yum! Then the phone rang.

- Hello, Swan residence, this is Bella.

- Hey Bella! It's Jacob.

- Jake! Hi! What's up?

- Nothing really. We were just wondering whether your dad's home tonight? Billy wants to watch the game.

- Oh, sorry. He's working late tonight.

- Oh, okay. Well. I'll guess I see you some other time then.

- Wait. Um... I guess you can come over anyway. I don't know when my dad is going to be home. All I know is "late".

- Oh. Okay. I'll see what we can do. I don't doubt one minute dad would say no to watching the game. But I think it would be too much if your dad isn't there. Well... See you Bella!

He hung up and Bella went back to watching the pizza spin round and round in the microwave.

She sat down at the kitchen table, but it was so quiet. To quiet.

She went into the living room and put the TV on.

There were new on about a killing. Someone had killed a fisherman not to far away, and they said the police had some fresh tracks. They were going to be on it all night now.

- Oh. I guess dad isn't coming home at all then...

Bella was a bit disappointed. This probably meant her dad would be busy all weekend. If not with tracking, but with paper work. And someone had to be at the phone at all times at the police station.

- Maybe it isn't to late to change my mind about the shopping trip in Port Angeles.

She lifted the phone of it's hock and dialed he number to Jessica's.

- Hey Jess. It's me. Bella.

- Hey Bella.

- Is there still room for one more down to Port Angeles tomorrow?

- Yeah sure. But weren't you busy?

Bella turned around just as they showed the bloody fisherman on TV. Bella hated blood.

- Um... No. Something else came up. But I'll see you tomorrow then?

- Yeah. That would be nice. I pick you up at nine?

- Sounds great. See you tomorrow. Bye

- Bye.

She hung up and went back to the sofa.

-"...the fisherman was emptied on blood, and the police know nothing more at the time."

Bella turned the TV off, and went to get a book. Her favorite. Jane Austen.

As soon as it got quiet, she started to think of the kiss. Every time she read about kissing in the book. She started to think of Edward.

In her lawn.

Kissing her.

Had anyone seen them? Oh dear god I hope not!

His lips has been so cold. So where his hand.

Bella hated this. She didn't like him in particular. He were arrogant. Well, polite, but not to nice. But still. She were drawn to him. She wanted him.

Bella jumped high when the doorbell rang.

- Hey Bells! Hurry up! Dad want to watch the game, and he is starting to get really grumpy.

It was Jacob.

Bella hurried to open, and barely had the time to move out of the way for Billy. He wheeled himself into the living room and turned the TV on again.

- Hey Jake. I don't really fancy the game. Can you come sit with me in the kitchen instead?

- Sure Bells.

They went into the kitchen and Jacob sat down.

- So. Why do I not see you at school? You must be..?

- I'm sixteen. But I go to school down at the reservoir.

- Oh. Okay.

- Why? Don't you have friends here?

- Sure. It's just... Well I don't know. It's easier to talk to you.

Jacob blushed.

Bella too.

Billy helped them ease the tension by yelling some really nasty words on some of the players. Or the whole team. They weren't really sure.

- He shouldn't get that excited, Jacob said. The doctors says he will have an heart attack if he does. Do you know him?

- Who? Your dad? His doctor?

- No. They guy walking towards your house.

Bella looked behind herself. She saw Edward. He walk walking. No again. He was floating towards her house and knocked at the kitchen door. Bella sighed and opened.

- Hey Edwards. What do you want?

- Oh nothing. You have company? I'm so sorry to interrupt.

He looked so casual Bella wanted to punch his face in. He had no right to be here from the start.

- Well... What do you want?

- Oh. I was just going to say I'm sorry. You know... For kissing you.

Bella were once again speachless. And she could see Jacob flinch at the table.

- Well... I'll be going again. Didn't mean to interrupt you two in something important.

He turned around and left them.

- So. Is he..?

- No.

- But you...

- No. He kissed me. Out of the blue. I don't even like him.

- Oh. Okay. Well. I better go out to make sure dad hasn't died.

Jacob went out and sat down in the sofa. Bella followed, but they didn't say one more word during the evening.

Vampires Suck!

No they don't!
Oh, well... Yes they do, but... Oh god dammit!

Well, I'm going to review the film Vampires Suck anyway. And I guess it is no big secret I dislike Twilight so I totally adore this film, even though the concept of these kinds of films are old. It sort of dies with the Scary Movie films.

Vampires Suck

Plot

Becca Crane moves to her dad in Sporks, Washington from Nevada. There she meets Jennifer and Rick her two "friends" but also Edward Sullen and Jacob White. Edward and his family are vampires. Edward and Bella dates, but Edward leaves her and she gets devastated and tries to kill herself. She is now torn between Jacob, whom also has a dark secret, and Edward, but in the end she choose Edward.

Opinion

As I said, as I dislike Twilight, I love this film. It has a lot of fun jokes on behalf of Twilight, and how people claim Bella and Edward and the rest of the characters are behaving in the book and film.

If you like Twilight, you will probably don't like it that much.

To be able to understand it completely though, you must have either watched or read the books/films, even though you might enjoy some of the things anyway.

I'd say, slapstick and spoofs are the words that describe it, so if you do not like that, then do not watch.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington

Part 9

- Why wasn't Edward in gym class?

- He has never been. None of his family do P.E. Don't know why. I bet they are just poor at sports, and as long as you have daddy the chief surgeon at the hospital, you can get away with lots. Like their camping trips.

- Oh, I see.

Bella was bored of school already. She wanted to go home! It was soon weekend, and she had decided to spend some quality time with her dad, to get to know him. And maybe get him to invite the Black's again. Bella had liked them.

Very much.

Especially the boy.

Jacob.

- So what did you do last night? Except for seeing you classmates running around in the woods?

- Oh, you know... Nothing. A few friends of my dad showed up and we watched the game, had some pizza.

- Sounds nice enough. So, you wanna come with us to Port Angeles this weekend? Me and Angela are going serious shopping!

- Oh, sorry, but I have other plans. Maybe some other time?

- Yeah sure.

The day dragged on, and Bella noticed her self not being able to take her eyes of the Cullens, or actually. She couldn't remember if the other four were there. She could only see Edward.

When school were over, she drove home and cooked some dinner. Her dad were going to work late today, so she had the whole house to her self until late night.

She sat in the kitchen when there were a knock at the door. She opened but no one were there. Someone had on the other hand, put a note on the porch.

She opened the envelope, and inside were a piece of paper that read:

Check the kitchen window. Edward

- What?

She went into the kitchen, and when looking out the window, she could see him casually sit at one of the tree branches outside.

- Hey! Why are you running around here? Don't you have your own forest to play in! Leave mine alone!

He just smirked and jumped down on the grass.

- Hey Bella. Just thought I'd drop by.

- That is a weird way of doing that. Normal people, they knock, and then they stay until someone open, they don't leave notes.

He walked up to her. He felt her hair, and she could feel his cold hands.

- So, what if I'm not normal then?

He were so close to Bella, she could barelly breath.

- Well... Not to... Hard... To guess...

He grabbed her neck and kissed her. Bella didn't know what to do! His lips were ice cold, and not soft at all. She tried to push him away, but all she did were injure her hand on his chest that were to hard to be normal. Not even body builders had muscles like that.

When he were finished, he turned around and left.

He went straight out into the woods.

Leaving Bella on the lawn.

Speachless.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

What really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 8

The next day Bella told Jessica she thought she had seen Edward Cullen running around in the forest outside her house.

- Was he naked?

- Um... No?

- Oh...

Jessica sounded very disappointed. Bella looked at her, puzzled.

- Why would he be naked?

- Who's been naked?

Mike had just came around the corner.

- No one, the girls said at the same time, and left Bella with a puzzled look, and Jessica with a disappointed look.

- But... Who's naked?

Mike watched the two girls walk away.

It was Friday morning, and this morning, just like Tuesdays, meant Biology as first lesson. Bella saw that Edward were back and in his seat.

- Hello Bella, he said when she sat down next to him.

- Hi.

Bella was more rude, than she imagined to be. It was supposed to be a casual "hey", just like "nice weather, oh yeah, by the way, I saw you running around in the woods outside my house last night, was it fun? Can I come and hang next time?".

Edward looked at her, and Mike and Jessica came into the classroom.

- BUT WHO WAS NAKED?! I DEMAND TO KNOW!!! NOW!!!

- Shush Mike!

Jessica looked embarrassed and went of to sit in her seat at the back of the classroom.

- What was that about?

Edward looked at her.

- Oh, I don't know. He's just being Mike.

Edward seamed satisfied enough with that answer. After Biology, it was time for gym class. When Bella came out into the gym hall, she heard a voice she had started to recognize anywhere, she realized now, that she was drawn to it, and that she got this funny feeling inside of her every time she heard it. Like, the whole world went soft.

- Well, Ms. I'm sorry, but I can't take P.E anymore. Here!

She saw Edward slipping a paper into the teachers hand, and then leave in a hurry.

The un-censoured version of Twilight

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 7

This evening Bella were going to teach her father to cook, both dinner and breakfast.
- Soo, you put aaaall of this in?
Her father were watching the cup of cream next to the stove.
- Yep.
- But... It's so much!
- Well, it's low on fat, and calories, and a lot better than all this light versions with sugar in that becomes fat.
- Oh, okay.
Her father poured in in the saucepan and stired.
- Now let it cook for a few minutes, and then... It's ready! Look dad! Youhave cooked your all first dinner!
- Yeah...
There were a knock on the door.
- Who could that be at this hour a friday night? Bella could you?
Her dad struggled with getting his apron off and Bella laughed her head off.
- Sure.
She opened the door, and outside stood a very handsome guy.
- Hello! And you are..?
Bella hadn't noticed the old man in the weel chair, and were wondering what this sexy guy could want her dad.
- Hey! You must be Bella.
Bella made a small jerk when she realized the man was there.
- Oooh.
She blushed. Behind her she heard her dad.
- Black is that you?
- Hey old man, of course it's me! Who else would even think of visiting you? Especially on a Friday night?
- Come on in! It that your son?
- Yeah, this is Jacob.
Bella, it were from this lovely man I got your truck. Do you remember Jacob? You used to play a lot as children.
- Oh, no, sorry.
How could she forget this awesome looking young man? He must have been beatuiful, even as a child. The only thing she didn't like were his long hair. It made him look like... Well, a heavy metal dude that refused to realize to grow up, cut his hair and get a job.
- So, what brings you here?
- Oh, I just... Guessed you were feeling lonely...
- Your TV broke again?
- Yeah...
Her dad put the TV on and the game were just about to start.
- I took the liberty to order som pizza... It should be here any minute...
Bellas dad laughed, and went into the kitchen, to put all the food they just made into lunch boxes. They had made dinner for a whole cavalry, but to refuse Billy Black his pizza, that was worse than wrestling with bears in Charlies eyes.
Bella looked out the window, and this time she were sure, she saw something, well not something, someone in the forest. She dropped a plate.
- Everything alright Bella?
- Um... Yeah dad. Everythings fine. I just... Need to go to the bathroom for a while.
She ran up the stairs and into the bathroom. She had a hard time to breath. She had seen someone, and this someone, was not just anyone. It had been the Cullen boy.
Edward.
Why had he been running around in the woods? Weren't he away hiking with his family? Were they already back? Did they just make up the excuse to skip school?
The questions were running wild in Bellas had, but were interupted by a knocking.
- You okay honey?
- Um, yeah. Just a minute.
She splashed some water in her face, decided she were only imagining things and went out again.
- You okay? What happened.
- Oh, you know... Once a month, girly things. I just felt a bit sick. It will pass, actually, it already had. I just needed some water and to cool off a bit.
- Oh... I see.
This, was the only thing her father would have a problem with, and never ask questions about. Her period. This were still something between girls only.
The heard the doorbell and her father yelled to Jacob to open the door and get it. The smell off pizza filled the house and Bella forgot everything about her classmate running around in the wood, and had a real good evening with the Blacks and her father, even though she didn't like to watch sports. And when she went to bed, she wished more days could be like this.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 6

- Bella?

Bella snapped up from her daydreaming. The teacher were looking at her.

- Um... Eeeeh... I'm sorry, I didn't get the question.

The teacher sighed.

- I'm not surprised.

The sun was shining in trough the windows and flooded the classroom with sun. Something very rare in Forks. Bella just couldn't concentrate on American history at the moment. She wanted to go outside, to suck up these last rays of sun before winter.

At lunch, she waited up for Mike and Jessica and their friends Ben and Angela to go to the Cafeteria. She were looking for the Cullen family, but they were not sitting at their table. Where could they be?

After dinner Bella pulled Jessica of to the side.

- Jess, can I ask you something?

- Uh, sure..?

- Where are the Cullens? I mean, all five can't be sick at the same time can they?

- Probably off hiking. They usually do that when it's nice weather. I think it's some sort of family thing they do.

- Oh. Okay.

The day went on and all the kids just longed for school to finish so they could go outside. When the bell finally rang, Bella ran off to her truck to go home. Her dad were already home this time.

- Lovely weather isn't it?

- Yeah, it is!

Bella brought out a blanket, her school books and stretched out on the grass. If it hadn't been for the forest smell, she could almost imagine being back in Phoenix on a spring day. She realized she missed Phoenix, and her mother. But not even close to as much as she thought she were going to.

- Dad, has mum called?

- Eeeh, don't know.

- Okay.

- Give her a call later. I bet she misses you.

- Yeah I will.

About half an hour later Bella had to get in, the sun were on it's way down behind the trees and it started to get cold, but just as she were opening the door, she thought she saw something in the forest.

- Dad? Daaaaaaaad!

- Yeah..?

- Are there any wild animals around here?

- Um, well, yeah, the regular game. Further up the mountains there are some nastier things though. But they never come close to Forks. To much people.

- Okay. I just thought I saw something.

- Probably just a hare.

- Yeah... Probably just a hare.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 5

Bella felt like she couldn't breath.

- Bella? You okay?

Bella realized she was sweating and panting. He now stood a few feet away from her.

- Um, yeah. It... Um, just got a bit ho... warm.

He raised his eyebrow a bit.

- So, you'd say it's prophase?

- Huh?

- The onion?

- Oh, um, yeah.

Edward took a pen and wrote down their answer, and then came standing close to Bella again.

- Do you have to be so close? Have you never heard of social space? she whispered to him.

- They want this to be a group work, we will at least have to look like we are working as a group.

Bella couldn't argue with that.

They continued their work and handed it in first of all groups.
- That's good the teacher said. Now sit in your seats till the rest of the class is finished...

Bella and Edwards turned around the go back.

- Oh, and if you get bored, there is a hundred pages as homework for tomorrow. If you start now...

The rest of the class sighed and started to complain, and Edward and Bella went to their seats.

- If I hear anymore complaints, you will have two hundred pages in homework instead.

The class went silent. Apparently, this was a teacher who could actually do such a thing. Bella brought her book up, and she saw Edwards were already open at the pages. He looked like he were reading but Bella saw he were glancing out the window instead. When the clock rang and Edward were on his way out Bella ran and caught up with him.

- Hey!

He peered at her and continued to walk.

- Hey wait up.

He stopped and turned slowly.

- What is it?

- Why did you run away. Are you scared of me?
A roar of laughter came from his throat and Bella almost thought he were dying, or possibly a maniac.

- What's so fun?

It were one of the girls whom Edward used to hang with in the cafeteria.

- Oh nothing. Not really. Bella here just thought... Well, that I ran off because I were afraid of her.

The tiny girl also started to laugh uncontrollably and Bella got real scared there were something wrong with them. After what seemed like an eternity, she stopped.

- It were nice meeting you Bella, I'm Alice.

She held her hand and Bella shock it. She were just as cold as Edward had been.

- Hi Alice.

- Well, did you want something especial?

Edward looked at her, she noticed his eyes. They were dark brown, almost with red in it.

-Uuuh, oh, right. Um... Well, I were just going to ask... Oh forget it.

- Oookay..?

- Well, come on the Ed, we have to go. Carlisle and Esme is waiting for us. Time to hike!

Bella saw them walk of, meeting up with the other three from the cafeteria and slowly walk of and out the building.

- Hey wait! You can't leave now! School isn't...

She realized she were yelling, and that people were staring. She quickly ran of to the building where she has her math course.

When school were over, she quickly ran off to her car, without saying good-bye to Jessica and Mike, and drove home as fast as she could. Her father were not at home.

- Oh crap. When I do want to talk to him, he is nowhere to be found.

She put her bag on the table and realized she were starving. She hadn't managed to get anything else than an apple down for lunch today. She found some chicken in the freezer and some tortillas in the cupboards. She made chicken enchiladas and were done with the last ones when her dad went in the door.

- Oh, so now she's cooking?

- I were hungry.

He hung his weapon and hat up and went in to the kitchen.

- Smells lovely he said. Maybe... You know... Maybe you could teach me how to make these.

He turned and reached for the freezer

- Dad... I made enough for you too you know.

He looked at her, and smiled, and Bella realized, maybe it wasn't going to be such a drag living here anyway.

- Dad?

- Yeah?

He brought a plate and started to load it up with food.

- Can you tell me about the Cullens?

- Um sure... What do you want to know?

- Who are they?

- Well, um... Carlisle is the head surgeon at the hospital, outstanding. I think his wife is a decorator, but I'm not sure. All I know is that she likes that kind of stuff. They have, how many are there, four...?

- Five?

- Oh, yeah, five children, two of them adopted.

- I'm in the same class as Edward in biology.

- Oh, that's nice. He is a very polite young man.

- So they are all related..?

- Yep, well, as I said, two of them are adopted. I think that that big fella, Edward and the small girl are Cullen's children and that the other two are a pair of siblings they took in. I'm not sure. I haven't asked, and this is just town talk.

- Okay, thanks dad.

He looked at her and put his food down.

- You know Bella, this is actually real nice.

She started at him for a while, and realized he were actually right.

- Yeah dad. It is. Can I be excused now? I have plenty of homework to do.

- Sure Bells.

She put her plate in the sink and took her bag with her up to her room. She sat down at the desk ,still with the same scratches as she had made in it as a child, and started with her English assignment.

She totally lost track of time, when her dad yelled from downstairs he were going to bed now and that the bathroom were now all hers.

- Thanks dad!

She quickly brushed her teeth and made herself ready for bed, and she fell asleep almost immediately, not noticing the black shadow quickly floating by her window.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 4

The next day Bella woke up, feeling better than ever. Her first day of school had gone extremely well, and she were ready for what the new rain had to give. She opened her curtains and realized it was... Rain.

Again.

- Oh crap!

She dressed herself and went down to the kitchen. Her dad made a fat fry-up, she could smell the bacon all the way up the stairs.

- Hey Bells. Want some?
He showed her the pan with the almost burnt bacon, the egg, and the fatty sausages, and Bella almost threw up.

- Er, no thanks. I do with cereals.

- You really should eat something.

- Well... I am aren't I? I'm eating cereals!

- Oh, for Christ sake Bells! You know what I mean!
- Yeah, yeah. I need to eat, I'm so skinny, blah, blah, blah... Well, I'll eat later. Now, I want cereal!

He father sighed.

- And by the way dad. If you want to, I can...

- Make my my breakfast?

She realized he knew exactly how poor he was at cooking, and laughed.

- No dad, but I can teach you how, to cook it.

- Sounds good.

Bella put the cereal bowl in the sink and put on her coat and went out. Today the rain was more normal. It didn't creep in all the way under her coat, it stayed pouring down. She ran to her car and jumped in, and the engine started with a roar, and she was off to school.

When she came there, she saw Jessica first thing.

- Hey Bella.

- Hey Jess.

They walked into the school in silence.

- So, did you catch the film on TV last night?

- Erm...

Bella didn't know what to say. She had been up reading all evening, and she didn't know if that was accepted among the "cool" people here.

- Well, it was awesome! I mean that boy he was just...

- Problem solved, Bella thought. Jessica was good enough talking for all of them most of the time.

- Hey you!

Mike came up and put his arms around both of them. Jessica shone up and cuddled up with him, while Bella tried to get loose.

- Hey Mike!

- How's you Bella?

- Fine, just tired of the weather.

- Mike, did you catch the movie last night.

- Yeah. Did you Bella?

- Erm, no. I was doing other things. You know. My dad, we haven't spent much time together and you know... He wants us to get to know each other.

- Oh, tough luck.

- Eh, wasn't to bad I guess. So, what's our first class today.

- Your lucky day Bella! Biology.

Bella froze for a second.

- Oh. I forgot.

They walked over to the science labs and found their classroom. The Cullen boy were already in his seat when the three of them walked in.

- Hi Edward, Bella said and had a seat.

- Hi.

The teacher walked in and in his arms he had a big pile of onions.

- Well, class. Today we are going to see the different stages of mitosis. Grab ONE microscope from the cupboard behind you for each table. This is a GROUP work, and you will not only be graded at your answers, but at your ability to work together.

Bella swallowed.

- Should I go get one? he asked her.

- Huh?! What?

- Microscope..?

- Oh, yeah. Please do.

She watched his floating movements and couldn't help but be amazed. It was some sort of a sexual ring to it, but she didn't know how, and why, and what. Still it scared her, and a cold shiver went down her spine. She was amazed, still terrified of him. This time she was so relieved she had already done this, as she had troubles concentrating at the task in hand.

Bella were so into one of the slides she didn't realized he were not in his seat anymore. Still looking into the microscope she started to speak.

- So, which you think this is?

- I think it looks like the prophase.

He were standing behind her, just an inch from her face and she could smell his sweet breath, and feeling it on her neck.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 3

They sat together, the five of them, no one else. They all looked the same, with the same sexual drawn to them. They were not particularly handsome, just, more handsome than anyone Bella had ever seen.

Ever!

They looked better than all the guys in Phoenix.

They weren't eating. They just sat there looking cool and seemed like they didn't notice anyone else were in the cafeteria. They barely spoke to each other either. They just sat there, doing nothing, and Bella was so amazed. All the cool ones in Phoenix had always been loud, this was just so amazing.

- Who are they.

She nodded her head towards their table.

- The Cullens, said Jessica.

- The Filthy Cullens, said Mike at the same time.

- Their dad is like, the chief surgeon at the hospital here or something, or the boss, I wasn't listening when someone explained really.

Bella took a bite of her apple, unable to look away from the Cullen's till the bell rang and lunch was over.

- What class you got now?

- Eh, let me check... Eh, Biology.

- Cool! Then come with us!

The three of them took their trays and started to walk out of the cafeteria, at the same time the Cullens also went. Bella had never seen people move like that, it was as if they were floating, not walking. She had never seen such grace, not even among the cheerleaders back home.

- Wow, she said under her breath.

Bella stopped at the door to the classroom, everyone had their lab partner and she saw which one chair was free. It was the one next to one of the Cullens.

- Yes? Can I help you?

The teacher looked at her.

- Oh... Hey, I'm new. I'm Isabella. Here's my papers.

- Okay miss... Swan, take a seat. I think it is one free at Edwards table.

- Edward, Bella thought.

She loved the name. It sounded like it came from one of her favorite books, she could picture Jane Austen or Emily Brönte imagine a guy with the name Edward to their books, maybe someone they knew in reality and liked even.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- My names Bella.

- Edward.

She gave him her hand to shake it. He looked at her for a moment, then he shock it. His hands were ice cold.

- Oh! You're cold! Bad circulation?
He smirked.

- You could say that.

Bella sat down. Once again she had already done this part in Phoenix, she was wondering whether she maybe could get her mother to send her, her old essays. No, her mother would tell her it would be cheating. She peeked at her table neighbor and she realized he was just as bored as her, looking out the window.

- Sigh, does this mean I will be the one doing all out work? she thought. Is he an "all-looks-no-brain"-kind of guy? Just my luck.

The bell rang and, she saw Edward floating away, just as he had done in the cafeteria.

- Lucky you! she heard Jessica yell behind her.

- Why?

- You got the seat next to one of the hottest guys at school?!
- Oh, you meant it like that.

- Uh, yeah!

The rest of the day went on like it had in the morning, and when the last class were over, Bella couldn't wait to get home. She put her rain coat on.

- Nice coat.

A girl she didn't know bumped into her and laughed.

- Don't bother said Jessica. She always thinks she is the cool one, she has no friends and is a bullie just because she's... Well... Bigger than the rest of the girls, but as soon as she sees you're hanging with us, she'll leave you alone.... And there is nothing wrong with your coat. It's gorgeous. We just don't have that kind of stores in Forks.

- I noticed.

They went out to their cars and Bella walked over to her truck.

- Nice ride! Mike said.

- Yeah, yeah... Just mock me, she replied.

- No, I mean it. It looks awesome. I have to drive my parents car, not really a chick magnet so to say. Or, well... Except for soccer mum's I presume...

Bella laughed and jumped in her car and drove home.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 2

The office were painted in different green shades and it made Bella nauseous.

- Can I help you?

- Eeeh... My name is Be.. Isabella Swan. I'm new.

- Oh! You're the chiefs daughter? Well, one can see how his good looks has shone trough.

She gave Bella a wink she did not want to understand.

- Please fill these in and here is your timetable. I will fill in a hall pass for you.

Bella quickly filled in the papers. The less she had to spend time in this office, the happier she was. When getting all the papers needed she took her map of the school and headed out to her first class... P.E.

- Sigh, and I didn't bring my gym clothes.

Back into the corridor she saw that all the rain coats hanging there were either green or black.

- Oh joy. I will really fit in here.

She hurried along to the gym, where she handed her teacher the note and explained that she had no gym clothes on and he ordered her to go sit on the stand. Bella was wondering how many of these she was going to become class mates with.

When the bell rang for their next lesson, Bella sloped in among the last ones. Her teacher signed her papers and told her to go sit next to a blonde girl.

- Hey! I'm Jessica.

- Hey. I'm Bella.

- Welcome to Forks Bella!

The lesson droned on and Bella was happy she had already had this lecture back in Phoenix. Old English literature were one of Bella's favorite subjects as she loved to dream about living in the 1800's, but she had gone stuck with the most boring teacher she had ever had in her whole life.

When the bell rang it was time for lunch.

- Hey Jessica, can I go with you. I'm not really sure where the cafeteria is.

- Sure. We'll just go pick up Mike first.

They strode along the corridor and sat waiting outside a door.

- Mr Langdon always makes people go over the time. But we really don't mind, he's the best teacher at the school.

Bella just nodded. She couldn't understand. She didn't feel as uncomfortable as she was imagine she would.

- Soooo.... Where did you move from?

- Phoenix.

Jessica's eye became twice as big.

- Really. So... Why did you move... Here then?

- My dad lives here. Chief Swan.

- Oh!

- Yep. So, what do people do around here for fun?

- Well... Not much really. We usually go down to Port Angeles, or maybe Seattle, in Forks there is absolutely nothing to do.

- Bugger.

- Yeah.

The two girls sat quiet for a bit before the door opened and a group of people came out. Jessicas face shone up.

- Hey Mike! Come over here and met Bella. She's new. And I think she would do great in our group.

- Group? What group?

Bella looked terrified, and that was till she saw Mike and realized the "group" had to be the cool kids at this school.

- Well. If we put it simply. You will not be a part of the geeks. But...

Jessica didn't finish the sentence.

- Oh... That's a relief.

The three of them walked over to the cafeteria and grabbed their sandwiches and apples for lunch. When sitting down she saw something that made realize why Jessica had not finished her sentence.

Hanging with Jessica and her friends would not make her the nerd, but no matter how cool they were, they would never come in the same league as them.

The un-censoured version of Twilight.

This is what really happened when Bella Swan moved to Forks, Washington.

Part 1

Bella sat waiting for her dad at the airport. He was clocking on more than two hours late and Bella was thinking of taking the bus instead. Then she saw the police car trough the glass double doors.

- Finally, she said to her self.

- Oh my god! I'm so sorry Bells! I totally forgot that you we're coming today.

- It's okay dad.

Secretly Bella knew he didn't want her to come. That would ruin all his chances of ever finding a new girlfriend, because who wanted a man whit a teenage daughter on his hands?

Bella put her bag in the trunk and jumped into the passenger seat of the police car and they drove off.

- Oh, by the way Bells, I found you a car.

- A... car? Like... a... MOTORcar?

-Yeah?

- Cool!

Bella looked out the window.

- That's great she thought. Now you don't have to drive me whenever I want to go anywhere, but on the other hand. I don't have to have you moping around either. Great deal. I just hope... Na, he couldn't?

Bella got more and more nervous as they came closer and closer to her fathers house. On the drive way stood the ugliest car Bella had ever seen in her whole life!

- Daaad! That's horrible! You seriously think I will drive around in that? Everyone in Phoenix...

- Shush Bells! I couldn't afford anything else for you.

Bella, still grumpy, took her bags and went into the house and up to her room. He room were very spartan, it was not like her dad had been buying her new stuff for her arrival.

- Sorry 'bout that Bells. We'll fix that this weekend.

Bella sighed and layed down on the bed. She flipped up a book an started to read, listening to the never-ending rain on the roof. She was wondering how she was going to survive up here, but having to live with her mother hand her new boyfriend was just too much. She was wondering how school was going to be, if she was going to make any friends, if she was going to still be the popular girl.

She made a quick unpacking of her stuff and went down to order some pizza.

- Dad, I'm going to order pizza! You want?

- Your mother said you cooked?

- Yeah... Sometimes... When I'm in the mood. Usually cereals, I'm a reacl champ at that.

- Pepperoni please.

When the pizza came, Bella took hers and went up to her bedroom again, he father not insisting on her staying downstairs. She not even wanting to spend the evening with him.

She once again layed down on the bed, reading, and spilling tomato sauce in her books, looking out at her hideous car once in a while.

The next morning Bella took a long shower before making herself ready to go to school. She put on her warmest clothes and a rain coat she had bought just for this occasion. It was many different shades of red and pink and she totally adored it.

She sat in her car and hesitated whether she should walk all the way to school instead, but realizing the damp weather would make he damp even under her coat made her change her mind. The car started with a roar, and Bella had turned red out of shame, even before she was off the driveway.

She drove off to school, and tried to park the car as far from everyone else's as she could, walking with her head down into the school front desk.

The rip-off?

This is actually a short essay I wrote in summer of 2010 on a course in vampire literature (I have here translated it into English). We could chose any subject we wanted, and I decided I was going to study whether the Twilight-series is innovative, or if they are just a rip off of great vampire stories. Once again, even though I do not particularly like Twilight, I will try and keep an open mind.

Is Twilight a rip-off?

Background and aim

Stephanie Meyers books on the humane vampires in the Cullen family seems at first glance like a new thing in the vampire world. In her books there are two kinds of vampires, the more traditional vampires which drink human blood, and there are the humane vampires which are the Cullen family.

Meyer's vampires have developed from the vampires which have an involvement with humans, like Dracula (and his equal in Murnau's version of Bram Stoker's novel). Meyer's storyline on the other hand are not very innovative. She is writing a story which contains well-known elements from books, TV-series, films and other media which have had a vampire story. The aim of this analyse is to find and specify what elements can be found elsewhere and what new ideas Meyer has brought into the vampire world.

Analyse

The vampire Edward Cullen is very frustrated that he can not read his human girlfriend Bella's mind. This is not a new subject in vampire stories. That vampires can read mind can be found in many stories, but this specific situation can be found in the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris, even though the situation is reversed and the human (Sookie) can not read her vampire boyfriend Bill's mind. In this case, the novels about Sookie was published four years before the first Twilight novel was published.

The theme of the forbidden love between human and vampire is not either a very uncommon trait in vampire stories. Examples can be in Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula where Count Dracula and Mina has an erotic attraction. It is also found in Buffy The Vampire Slayer where Buffy falls in love with two vampires (and we also find love between humans and other demons and werewolves, the latter also found in Twilight). It is also in Buffy the question whether a vampire has a soul is brought up an questioned more strongly than in other vampire works. Though we can find traces of it in Anne Rice book Interview with a Vampire where Louis in parts of the books refuses to drink human blood as he thinks hes a devils spawn.

The more vampire stories one read, the less innovative Meyer's vampires seems, but she does never really bring the dark parts of a vampires nature into light.

That Meyer has been influenced by the Sookie Stackhouse novels, there is no doubt. There can be no coincidence that both stories involve a person who can not read his lovers mind. Also the question whether a vampire could really love one as they have no soul is brought up time after time in Buffy, and the spin-off Angel, but also in Interview with a Vampire where Louis is sure that when he became a vampire he lost his soul. This is things found in the character of Edward Cullen, whom is sure he has no soul as he is a dangerous creature who wants to drink the blood of the one he loves.

Meyer also brings up the question on a "royal" vampire family, but that is not something completely new either. In True Blood we have the Sheriffs and the Magisters, and in Underworld we can find the Elders which can be related to Caius, Marcus and Aro from the Volturis in Twilight.

Another one of the most debatable things in Twilight are the fact that Edward Cullen can actually reproduce in a natural way, even though he is dead. This is not either something new, in Angel's spin-off series of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, we can see that vampires can reproduce in a natural way, and not only by siring people. In Twilight we also get to know another family of "vegetarian" vampires, and they created vampire children in the same was as Louis and Lestat made in Interview with a Vampire (through siring them as young children, so they get stuck in the body of a young child). The child talked about in Twilight does on the other hand not have the same role as Claudia have in Anne Rice's book, but still we can see the similarities between the two stories. Also we find the hybrid between two different creatures in the Underworld series, where Michael Corvin is a vampire/werewolf hybrid, while Renesmee from Twilight is a human/vampire hybrid.

The settings story-wise in Twilight are similar to those in Buffy, where we start out at High School, and follows the development of the protagonist trough their High School years. Both the females (Buffy and Bella) are in doubt whether they should go through and go to college, as they both know they can never have a normal future. Here on the other hand the stories differs, Bella becomes pregnant and Edward has to make her a vampire to survive, while Buffy goes to college but drops out to take care of her sister and start working. Another similarity in the story between Twilight and other vampire stories are the question about stalking. In Buffy, Buffy gets stalked both by Angel, where she even says "[y]ou know, being stalked isn't really a big turn on for girls" (Episode 1, Season 2). Even the book series The Vampire Diaries (the first parts being published between 1991-1992) brings up the theme with a High School girl getting in touch with vampires and becoming stalked by the one who has feelings for her.

As I mentioned earlier, the werewolves in Meyer's book are not new either, we find similar werewolves falling in love with humans in Buffy (Willow and Oz). In the first books Meyers werewolves seems to be something new, but when we find out they are shape shifters, and that it was just a coincidence that they became wolves the similarities with Sam Merlotte from Charlaine Harris books become prominent. We also find the use of regular wolves in Bram Stoker's Dracula.

What Meyers has brought into the vampire world as new would be that vampires does not die or burn in the sunlight, and that that have no fangs (at least they never mention they have). This on the other hand feels more like a development backwards or making vampires more like humans, than evolving them further. One could ask if the Twilight vampires are not zombies as they have no know vampire traits except for drinking blood, but zombies also eat and drink of humans.

The fact that vampires will not die of sunlight are found in very few vampire stories or myths, but that they sparkle is something completely new. They have been described as shimmering (Anne Rice once explains Louis skin as shimmering in the light), but never as sparkling. This is also one of the aspects of the Stephanie Meyer vampires that has created the most debate among vampire lovers, but even if a majority thinks that vampires should not sparkle, there is no question that it is something new, and never seen before. The friend ship between vampires and shape shifters or werewolves are not an empty source of inspiration either. It can be found, but the idea has not really developed further, not even between Oz and Angel in Buffy. Stephanie Meyer also bring the word "imprinting" into the world of paranormal love, even though it can be found in the animal world, but it is not so common in this area, used as a method of bringing the story further.

Conclusion

Twilight might not be a rip-off, but the influence from Buffy, Sookie Stackhouse novels and Anne Rice books are very obvious. She has changed the traditional vampire into something looking more like us, and that make it lose lot's of it's appeal it has when being dangerous and unreachable for humans. The Twilight saga should not be read or defined as a vampire book, but as a romance story. She has taken the vampires one step closer to being humans and other humane vampires (Angel, Bill Compton and so one) still have some of their vampire traits left, so that there is a difference between humans and vampires, they for example have their fangs left, and they burn or die in the sun light. Many of the things Meyer brings up in her books are not new and are seen in vampire stories publish long before her books, and she seems to have brought more or just as much into world of the werewolves.

Saying that her books are creative are not really the truth either. She has used many different kinds of know elements from vampires stories and carefully chosen the parts that made these other stories successful. Calling it a rip-off is maybe to exaggerate, this "stealing" is used by many directors, and authors and they use inspiration from different places. Meyer just seems like she has taken this a bit further than others in the business. The expression "Twilight is like Buffy, but without the good bits!" seems like a good way to finish this essay.

(The books and stories analysed for this essay are all published before 2005, therefore, they are publish before the first Twilight book was).

A vampires way

Ok, I decided to take this topic to write about something I dislike. I will try and keep an open mind about it, but in the end, I don't like it anyway!

The subject is.. Twilight!
(So this is not an "I Love Twilight thing, nor is it an "I hate Twilight thing, but just thoughts that I have had on peoples arguments to the pros and cons of the book, feel free to ask if you have any questions or I am unclear, also im not pro phedofilism, necrophilia or animal sex or anything like that! If you think that please leave immidaitley because then you're probably just out to read about anti-twilight stuff and this is an "open minded, im listening to both sides" kind of post)

After being sat reading almost every post at www.mylifeistwilight.com and laughing my head of as I seriously lose hope in humanity.

I'll be discussing the main things of the pros and cons of the books and the films, (yeah, I have read all four books, once and I have seen both movies, twice (and thats just because they got Cam Gigandet and the guy who plays Carlisle is kinda good looking).

Ok.

no 1 - The texts are poorly written.
Yeah they are, Stephanie Meyer is not a very talanted writer, there are a lot of repetatings, or re writings of the same idea. The whole book's about how good looking Bella think Edward is and stuff, yeah, I can deal with that at the beginning of a relationship when you're in love, but after 3 books of it, where they have been together for 3 years, yeah, it's kinda getting old.
And the fact this actually is her wet dreams, well, I can't say this or that, it might just be a publicity stunt to get more readers and more attention to her, but if it is, that's just gross!

no 2- Edward is an abusive boyfriend and Bella brings feminism back 100 years.
Well, the fact is that they are just as bad as each other, Bella is using mental abuse on Edward too, she forces him to do stuff and says she thinks he don't love him so that he will keep telling he loves her and stuff. And leaving a girl, that's not un common, everytime a man or a woman meets someone they fall for and getting left in the "in love" phase it feels like you've lost your soulmate and the fact, you might like someone else or someone else likes you, yeah thats normal, not a "Bella-Edward-Jacob" state, that stuff happened so long before this darn books became published! Also, the stalking bit where he sits at her window, yeah creapy, but, I mean... If you always fall asleep efter your partner and are lay watching him, wouldn't that count too? Or I don't know, I don't think I would like someone sitting outside my window watching me sleep, but he did tell her kinda early and stopped, some might say hes a stalker, some not. I really don't have a strong opinion on that to be honest.
one thing we have to think of here is that Edward died in the beginning of the 1900's or something, and was brought up with different values than we have today, and even if you say he should change, some things are hard to change, and always helping Bella and stuff can be linked to chivlary. But Bella takes it just one step to far (and this is important, im not a big feminist, as Im tired of to many girls taking the feminism to far and don't let the guys get any space. Yeah Chivlary died and feminism killed it, partly). And this is also, a thing about Edward being born in the .. Well, long ago, he was probably brought up to be a gentleman!

Well, bottom line is: Edward was brought up in a way, even if he could change to be modern, some things, some values you keep for all your life, Bella takes the vain lady a bit to far, but some girls are afraid to stand on their own feet, and women ARE allowed to be as they feel like, not everyone has to be independent, thats their own choise. I would never behave like that personally, and I prefere girls who will not be independent on their guys, but if Edwards brought up that way and Bella likes it, whatever.

no 3 - Phedofilism, necrophilia, animal sex (not sure what the word for that is).
Do you actually SEE or READ Jacob does anything to the vampire baby? I can't see it in any case. Well, the idea is weird, but, in my world, phedofilism is when you touch a baby, do sexual tings to it, takes naked photos of it and that sort of stuff! And actually the thing about Jake being a wolf and calling it animal sex or something, thats just stupid, then you should not watch any vampire/werewolf movie ever made. No one actually has sex in the book except Edward and Bella, not as we know of at least (or, not that I noticed are the right words for that I guess) and that comes to the necrophilia, well, again, don't watch any vampire movie ever made, especially not Buffy the vampire slayer. Because almost everything in the Twilight series is ripped from there.

The List of things that happened in Buffy before Twilight:
*A human and a Vampire falls in Love: Buffy - Angel (has sex) & Buffy - Spike (has sex, multiple times)
*"Abusive Boyfriend": Spike tries to rape Buffy in the end of the series (Season 6 I think)
*The Vampire leaves the heart broken Human who finds a new dark creature - Angel leaves Buffy heartbroken and she turns to Spike.
*The vampires and Werewolfs don't kill each other: In Buffy, Oz don't kill Spike or Angel even if he probably would have wanted to if he could, and Jake don't kill Edward
*Vampires not drinking human blood because of "soul": Angel got cursed with a soul, Spike got first a chip then he wanted a soul on his own so they didn't kill humans, they lived of pigs blood.

Well, those are the things I can come up with right now, I have had other stuff on my mind, but this is enough I think.

List of things S. Meyer forgot when creating her vampires ( I dont care one bit if it came to her in a dream)
1. Vampires BURN in the sunlight, not sparkle, that means, they can NOT be outside at day even if it's cloudy.

I won't give you anymore reasons, all I say is read Dracula, Carmilla and watch Buffy and you will see how a real vampire works!

I really hope this whole post makes sense now.

Ok, I don't like Twilight, I think it's a poorly written piece of litterature, with unrealistic themes and to many repeatings of the same thing. The story is old and not in anyway innovative, but some people are taking both the bad and the good things WAY to far and that makes the whole thing worse as they are competing who will get the most attention, the haters or the lovers.
Feminism is brought back, yeah, an independent woman, but Edwards values are his and Bella likes them, and some feminists today are worse in that way than those anit-feminists are in the other way. Necrophilia? yeah, well then don't like vampires and hate all vampires that exist, but I don't think necrophilia is a good thing, but right now, you who argue for the fact hes a ficitonal person, forgets that he is actually a FICTIONAL person, does the necrophilia count in the same way then? I think thats up to you really, and there is no actuall evidence that Vampires are dead, they are actually UNDEAD and I think that depending on how you see, what theory you have for vampires being created this is an open question, me I think there are more of a virus spread, altering your DNA, mutating it. Animal sex, the Bella - Jake relationship, well, I don't think he knew he was a werewolf, and they are actually not animals, but not human either, so I won't get into that, thats way to complex for me, and the phedofilism, is as said before, not phedofilism until he does something, the imprinting thing could be a way around it, but as said before it's FICTIONAL and there are to many things not being correct for someone to bother about the fact imprinting is impossible, i mean, are vampires possible at all?
People need to before thay say stuff, think of the whole picture.

Me myself I will never read Twilight again as I prefere non-sparkling cool vampires with guns, who kill and drink peoples blood, or try to. I need storys that compete with the mind and are well written and deep.

This is my opinions, Im very open to hear yours and I understand the arguments of both the haters and the lovers side and I really can't be botherd with being either a hater or a lover as I see there is so much more you can do to lif than putting all your energy on that, I only wrote this becasue I want to improve my english and it seems like a hot topic.

\m/