6th February

Well Helloooo Love!

Jeez, such a dip I had the other night, I was sooo close onto slipping back into old habits, but I'm so glad I didn't really! That could have been devestating. Yikes!

Ok, now let's see... Theeee X-files! Yay! Im on ep no 5 today. Going to see if I can finish watching the first season this evening. Been up since 10 this morning to watch films. Great day! Also my hand is cramping from writing, letters, I seriously have been doing to much typing at the computer, I had forgotten how it feels to write 7 pages by hand! And it's killing me! :)

And I have now realised that the grades to get into nursing is waaaaay to high for me! Thats soooo troublesome! But I have decided to start studying biotechnology instead! I will tell you specifically as what later on though, as I haven't decided yet what specifically to study!

This is a poem I wrote the other evening when feeling really bad. Hope you like it.

Mystery, life is such a big one
But is there really an answer to this?
I can't see, I can't even guess.
Does all mysteries have an answer?

Why is my path not clear?
What is this dark? I can't touch it. I can't smell it.
But it's suffocating me!
It reacks of fear.
Fear of being alone, being the only one.

My broken body, my broken spirit.
It's hard to breath.
Everything is spinning. Round and round.
Life is not black or white, it's grey.
No good or evil, everything are both, both are everything.

Body fluids mix, pink and salty, thick and watery.
The coldness is here, among us.
The warmth are drawing further away.
Gripping the heart.
My limbs are stiff. It hurts.

This is a mystery.
An unknown path so familiar.
Ive walked it so many times. Never found home.
Never realised.

Well, thats it :) Its really dorky and probably will everyone who reads it call me emo or something, but at the moment, I can't really bother. It's not my favourite poem, but it's raw and I like it.

If people like it I can add more of them, I got a billion, most of them in my head, just waiting to be written or printed!

\m/